I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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