So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
