seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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