id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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