Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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