U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's blow job season.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
