So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
