My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
