I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
