I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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