Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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