when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
