I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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