At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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