I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
