we're blogging at a bar
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
