It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
