he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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