i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
