I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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