this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
