I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
