She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
