after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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