i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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