I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
