whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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