and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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