I'm lost and stupid without you.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just google imaged poop.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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