he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Panties = found
Randomize
