woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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