I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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