I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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