the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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