He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
