IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
