We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just took my morning after pill in the library
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
