What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Please, let me fuck your mom
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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