i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
