She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Im part way to drunk.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
