Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
