I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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