i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
