So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
