Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
