Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
