Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
