Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
