new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
