just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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